Adult Essence

by Nick Gideo

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A portfolio of songs written over the past few years, each of which explores a different aspect of the transition from Adolescence into an Adult Essence.


released November 17, 2013

Recorded and produced by Nick Gideo. Album artwork by Jessica Mongeon.



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Nick Gideo Rice Lake, Wisconsin

i'm obsessed with sound.

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Track Name: Humbling Divine (learning how)
I'm looking to find
a humbling divine
to lead me
away from my past

i act insincere
because i'm hiding from what i fear
of loosing
when you walk away

but don't write me off just yet
because this guilt can get so heavy
my emotions are bound up
behind the walls that where my heart is found
and i'm building up my strength

to break love free

when you're poisoned young
the craving lingers on your tongue
and tricks you
in paranoia

but in sobriety
my consciousness has clarity
and vision
cause i see my mistakes

and i wont grow bitter for what i've missed
because you might taste it on my kiss
as i apply what i've learned
i'll bathe in sweat to get what i've earned
but the last thing that i need

is sympathy

oh yes i see
how you see me know
and you're looking down upon me

so go ahead and write me off
i'm learning how
to love again
Track Name: I Associated You With White
when i saw you around
i had to close my eyes
to keep your incandescence
from burning up my mind

if i absorbed you too soon
my gullible mind
would desect you into pieces
the T.V. taught my to objectify

but your voice sang purity
and shone white light on my
(appears differently on recording)

if i can catch enough energy
from the light of day and the holy trees
and put it all into a song
i'd sing hoping you would be at peace inside your body
like the way your music does for me

your morality
intimidated me
and got me up from sitting still
in clouds of apathy

and in this broken world
souls drift easily
by the wayward impulse
to seek ingested substance selfishly

but what that impulse needs
is music pure and free

Track Name: The Void
in the fog formed a girl
of lucid energy
whose spirit was without the need
for solidity

and she whispered secrets
that untangled pieces
of prose lost in my mind
me i was speechless
from a feeling that breeches
the barriers of time

but she grew bored and turned into a swarm
that appeared annoyed
and as quickly as she came
she evaporated into the void

why did she leave me here
what had driven her away?
was it selfish and greedy of me
to have needed her to stay

and floating through space
i remembered the pace
i had moved toward her waves
and it's in natures course
that the harder you force it
the harder it evades

but her veils had reveiled
my intent was conceiled
like the program of a droid
i had tried to use her warmth
to fill the expanding depths
of the void

she tried to punish me
for my ignorance of patriarchy


she showed me salvation is in a sense
to be conscious of your own incompetence
not to consume others at their expense
each selfless act makes a difference

and if i can be comfortable on my own
i might realize that this void
inside me
is not empty

you can't fill yourself with someone else
there's no room left inside your cells